claiming your spaces (even within chaos)
Sara Vatore
Claiming Your Spaces (Even Within Chaos)
My house continues to be an epic teacher. It is a mirror for me about my relationship to SPACE.
Most recently I moved all my stuff back down into my home office after running my business for 6 months out of my bedroom. We had a basement flood in July 2021 (the second one in 3 years and on the same day as the first one btw…!). The office is still not finished, but I bought a rug to throw over the concrete and… good enough! (No more waiting for my husband to fix it)
As a Somatic Experiencing Practitioner and Energy Weaver, I brag I navigated these 6 months with grace and ease (and ease definitely doesn’t mean easy) working out of a tiny corner in my bedroom, while homeschooling my 8 year old and navigating a grumpy neurodivergent teen.
2 weeks after I reclaimed my office and space, an animal died in the ceiling in my bedroom and I now find myself sleeping out in my living room for the 21st day in a row.
My bedroom is no longer usable until the animal is discovered and removed. (Not sure if you have ever smelled a dead animal in a wall, but it is a special kind of rank).
This is pushing the edges of my already expanded capacity just a wee bit…
I now find myself with no room to lay down in and shut the door.
I now find myself without any privacy for intimate moments with my husband.
I now find myself with my sacred mattress being jumped on and played in by my 8 year old constantly throughout the day.
I can feel the contraction in my chest as I write, the longing and desire for fully nourishing and supportive SPACE bubbling up in my system, calling to me.
When we are coping and making the best out of a situation, many times that leaves room for overriding emotions. We might not be in a place (ex. in front of our kids) where we can fully express the extent of our feelings. Sometimes we do have to swallow it or mask it a bit.
In the past, I would let these experiences and upsets stack. I would swallow and swallow my feelings and overwhelm, pretending everything is okay until truth’s expression exploded in my body, typically manifesting as some sort of pain, injury or autoimmune illness/flare up.
Over the last 10 years I have learned the necessity of creating intentional, conscious spaces to create small moments for my personal somatic and energetic digestion. For expression. For integration.
Small daily moments alone and supported regular longer sessions with healers and practitioners.
Spaces to allow my whole self to ride the wave of anything that wants to move through me. Orienting to spaces where I can show up again and again with my truth and all the pieces, so that I can have the capacity to navigate the unfolding, even through overwhelm.
When there are circumstances out of our control or we feel more overwhelmed, these spaces become our anchor to find our self again. Especially when life feels full, as if we couldn’t possibly create those SPACES, that is when we know they are most needed and important.
A SPACE for a moment to pause and reconnect. To exhale loudly. SPACE to give permission for my system to feel into what it has been holding on.
You will find me pausing and orienting to these SPACES throughout the day:
My car.
The bathroom.
Stepping outside on the deck for 1 minute.
A walk up and down the driveway.
My office.
The shower.
My bed at night as I lay and work with energy while everyone is asleep (even being in the living room!)
Escaping into my son’s room, when he is in the living room (and closing my eyes so I don’t focus on the mess).
Early morning hours when no one is stirring yet.
You will find me in my supported SPACES with:
My business coach and strategist
My ancestral healing practitioner
My dream work practitioner
My ritual witch and 1-1 creative guide
My somatic and energy practitioner
A quarterly ritual circle of women to honor the seasonal shifts
My husband’s intimacy and connection
Close friends monthly connection
I share these with you, so that you may be inspired to acknowledge those spaces you can count on in your world. The spaces where you can access your own essence and recharge, even if it is just a moment.
Where are the spaces that you have in your day to day experiences where you can take a pause to return back to yourself?
Who are the people and practitioners in your life that you can count on to generate a supported container for expression?
If you are craving a 1-1 space to drop into a somatic and energetic integration process and amplify your essence, I invite you to check out my most recent 1-1 offer: RECALIBRATE with the below link or connect with me for more information about my longer 1-1 support containers to co-create a potent space to alchemize and digest anything that is surfacing within your body and energy.
http://www.saravatore.com/recalibrate