collapse vs. contraction
Sara Vatore
A theme that has been coming up in sessions with clients and one which I have personally been differentiating within my own system this September is the difference between a contraction and a collapse in our Body/Being.
I have been collecting evidence for a while, taking note of what is different when my body experiences a contraction after a big output vs. a complete collapse and shut down in my system.
Some observations so far:
In contraction state I notice:
Fatigue
Desire for emotional expression
Desire for rest, naps, laying down, nourishment
Out of sorts/unsettled sensations in my system
Impulse to avoid feeling this way
In a collapse state I notice:
I get sick
I fall, bump, or hurt my body in some way
Increased body pain
Exhaustion
Need to sleep
Sleep disturbances
Extended emotional distress
Overwhelm sensations
Less access to choice
When our bodies/systems are thriving and working smoothly, there is a natural contraction that happens following any expansion, output of energy or emotional expression.
This is an organic cycle that our bodies breathe with. An oscillation. We can learn how to harness this pattern in our bodies and create and honor the space for the different phases of being.
For example, our bodies are awake for multiple hours during the day, and then they need to rest at night in order to recharge and restore. This cycle then repeats. Our rest fuels our awakeness and our awakeness brings us into deep rest.
This is the same for any other kind of output of energy. There is an exchange that happens.
When we override and push through our capacity and limits (physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally, energetically) our body has a corresponding response on the other end.
We can crash, our bodies break down, we get sick, injured, feel more foggy, exhausted, hurt ourselves etc.
When I first started my business 6 years ago and I was doing all the things, my body would break down on the regular:
After a trip out to California to teach, I would come home and completely crash. Body pain, fatigue, exhaustion and it would take me days to recover.
After seeing 24 clients a week and also teaching 3 Nia dance classes weekly, for multiple weeks in a row, I would get a bad cold or virus.
After a weekend running a workshop my low back would flare up and hurt for days.
After a JourneyDance class where I processed big energy and had an intense emotional release I would get a head cold.
It was SO frustrating AND I wasn’t taking into consideration a few things:
I was doing too much
It was clear I was not pausing enough to truly listen to what my body was needing at any given moment and then honoring the messages.
I was not creating spaces throughout the day for my physical and energetic body to recalibrate back to a baseline. In the fullness of all my commitments I wasn’t allowing any moments of recharge throughout the day.
I wasn’t always completely listening to my body when I was holding space or doing things related to my business or my family. I would override pain while schlepping heavy things to teach my dance and MELT classes, or bend over without care as I was setting up altars. I would clean my house for hours without being mindful of my body position. My body and energy tending took a backseat in the list of my priorities.
I wasn’t creating the space in my life for any contractions! In fact I was annoyed/frustrated at my body for having them in the first place. This only reinforced my body collapsing and shutting down.
When my body moves into more of a collapse, my whole system needs extra time and space to recalibrate. It is harder to move myself out of this state of being. There is more freeze and shut down energy in my system and so it takes even more attention, sensitivity and energy to realign, feel better and emerge.
No thank you.
This pushing /collapsing pattern wasn’t working for me anymore.
In intimately observing my body, energy and patterns, with a desire to expand my capacity to hold more, I began to uncover and honor the various ways my system identifies her needs and cyclical nature, which includes spending time in contraction energy.
Expecting it
Welcoming it.
Giving permission for it to be there.
Allowing the uncomfortable, smushy, unknown, out of sorts sensations to move through.
Contractions are when our system gets space to unwind and allow for our bodies, minds, emotions, etc to express.
These sensations/experiences of contraction give us vital information about what is needed in our body, in order to recalibrate and more easefully into equilibrium.
In my contraction I create the space for my whole body/system to integrate.
There is permission for my body to feel out of sorts and I can intentionally listen deeply to what is needed for support.
Instead of pushing through and overriding I have learned to embrace the contraction, so that my system has less of an opportunity to collapse.
Providing space and time for contraction, allows for us to titrate the ebbs and flow of holding all the layers of beingness and supports a fortified expansion!
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A couple of weekends ago I participated in a wellness booth at a local fair to promote my work at Inspired Being.
It was really the first big in-person work expenditure of energy I have done since before covid. There was walking, lifting and carrying, 2.5 days of set up and break down, of social communication and engagement, of spending time with new colleagues.
I am so proud of myself! I drank plenty of water, made sure I had nourishing food choices all weekend, made choices to carry less and make more walking trips, sat when I needed and worked with my MELT roller at night.
What a weekend!
I was tired, of course, AND, I was able to experience the contraction afterwards WITHOUT collapse.
Monday I intentionally created a lot of open space for my contraction and process:
I allowed my body to be tired.
I let her dance.
I hydrated.
I nourished her with fresh food choices and stillness.
I sang.
I invited in tenderness for her desires and allowed whatever expression was needed.